How can I recognize an unhealthy friendship?

You leave hanging out feeling drained, small, or on edge — and you keep making excuses for how they treat you.

• Long history can make you loyal to who someone used to be.
• Put-downs get labeled as jokes, so it's hard to name what's happening.
• If you fear being alone, you'll tolerate more than you should.

Before you decide anything, take four slow breaths — in for 4, out for 6. You think more clearly on the other side of a calm breath than in the middle of a fast feeling.

1. 1Run the after-check: do you feel more like yourself or less like yourself after time with them?
2. 2Look for the pattern, not the incident: repeated disrespect, secrets used against you, pressure, one-way effort.
3. 3Adjust the distance before you end anything — less time, less access, fewer details.

Name one specific pattern you're no longer willing to accept.

Play it forward. If you take this step, what happens tomorrow? Next week? What does it protect — your peace, your grades, your relationships, your future? Leaders think one move ahead.

• One-Minute BreathingSlow your body down in 60 seconds with a longer exhale.
• Positive AffirmationsWords that steady you before you step out.
• Talk to a Trusted AdultA script for starting the conversation you've been avoiding.
• Get HelpCrisis resources and a personal safety plan.